I thought I was better prepared for her to go. I guess I wasn't.
She was ready and didn't want to suffer or be a burden. I was glad that Irene was staying with her during the daytime and that Floyd and Garrett were here that day too. I almost went to work, I'm glad I didn't. I got to try to revive her, when she was in distress. But then I realized, she wanted to go, so I said to her, okay, I'm going to let you go now.
Three paramedics with two paramedic trucks showed up within about 5 minutes of Floyd calling them. There were two ambulances, two fire trucks and three police cars blocking the road in front and to the side of the house. But she wanted to go, so we let her. Floyd, Irene, Garrett and I and the paramedics and firemen and police let her go. They might have been able to resuscitate her, but she had stopped breathing and her heartbeat was gone, she looked peaceful. They might have been able to put her on life support and put her in the hospital and save her for a few more weeks, only to suffer through pancreatic cancer.
She had signed a DNR, do not resuscitate, "Living Will". I asked her if that's what she wanted two nights before, she said, yes, I don't want to be on life support. So we said goodbye and let her go.
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